On Death and Dying

     My daughter told me on Memorial Day that the kids were painting happy pictures for Poppy and me, because so many people had died on this day and they wanted to cheer us up. She also said the three of them had become preoccupied with her death and our death and what would happen to them if we all died.
     I think there must be a certain age when kids become aware of death--her children are 10, eight and four. I remember worrying about my mom dying when I was a child, maybe around the age of eight to 10. She had told me if anything ever happened to her, I'd go live with my pastor's family. The reasoning behind this was, she had no family near by and my father wouldn't have been able to raise me on his own due to addiction problems.

     Possibly the fears of death for my grandchildren have been reinforced by recent events. Twelve weeks ago today my best friend passed away--Delisa Curtis Cox--a beautiful spirited woman, who loved God, family and helping others. She brought sunshine and music to a room, she brought grace, smiles and respect to all those around her. Never would I have thought she would leave us so young and so early, at age 50 with stage four cancer. She always loved children, and although her two son's are married she didn't have any grandchildren of her own yet. I always thought she would grow old continuing to help people and that and her house would be full of family and beautiful curly headed grandchildren. My grandchildren saw the sadness and loss I, and my other friend Lisa Weisgerber, felt--we had been three childhood friends--now there was just the two of us...

From left, Delisa Cox, myself and Lisa Weisgerber

     When she passed away Tuesday, March 6th, my daughter and her children went with us to Louisiana for the service. On a rainy Thursday, we drove across states, rain coming down in sheets for 12 hours--it seemed the whole of heaven was weeping for the loss on Earth of such a beautiful soul. Soon after her memorial service, the music store where Shiann takes violin lessons had a sudden loss, also. A guitar teacher in his 50's suddenly and unexpectedly died, leaving everyone who knew him shocked at the loss.
     Then the Saturday, before Memorial Day, the grandkid's former school librarian, age 38, died after a six year battle with brain cancer. She leaves behind small children and husband. On Sunday, a woman their mother works with lost her 48 year old husband to a sudden heart problem. Another, sudden loss.
     After so many loses soon the world, to a child, takes on a sinister slant and an ominous cloud hangs over the brightness of childhood. It does for adults, too. There are some questions to life where there are no answers. Where it seems God has chosen to become a silent observer. We are taught not to question Him, but in our hearts we do, because we are only human.
     We can only comfort the living, while trying not to think about our own mortality. We cling to the brightness of knowing and hoping the ones we love are in a better place. And, we hold them in our hearts as sacred treasures. In December before my friend, Delisa, passed away she told me she'd had a dream of us running in a field together,  holding hands--we were laughing and happy. I believe we will again someday...